Want Your Child to Think Like a Mathematician? Ask, Don’t Tell.
The most powerful tool in your parenting toolkit isn’t a calculator … it’s a question or two. There is so much magic in asking.
Here’s how to use curiosity to build confidence.
Avoid jumping in with the answer … let them wrestle a little.
This may seem counter-intuitive and yes, you probably want to get homework ‘done’ so you can get on with the million other things on your to-do list, but despite your child begging you to “Just tell me!” … jumping in too early robs them of the opportunity to get creative with solving the problem themselves. ‘Struggle’, in moderation, is good for them. You know your child best, so you’ll know what this looks like for them.
Questions spark thinking.
You also know that building their capacity to persevere is part of the learning process and a skill they’ll need forever, so throwing out a question or two can help direct the ‘struggle’ and keep them engaged on the task at hand.
You could try one or a combination, depending on the situation, and the age of your child:
What do you know? - particularly good for word problems
What do you need to know? - great for word problems
What have you tried?
What else you could try?
What part do you understand?
What part are you finding tricky?
What do you notice?
Asking questions invites them into a conversation about the task. it asks them to look at it from a variety of angles, and perhaps try ‘one more way’ to solve it. It asks us to listen to respond, perhaps with a further question.
Of course, if they are really stuck, you’ll need to give them some assistance, but with MathsBites as your guide, you can avoid further confusion because you’ll have the correct language and strategies to use.
Mistakes are part of the process. Celebrate them.
No one likes making mistakes, but they are a part of life. So too in maths!
When I was in the classroom, we celebrated mistakes. This acceptance removed the ‘shame’ that kids can feel when they’ve made a mistake.
Over a period of time, I had instilled in my kids that a great mathematician isn’t the one who gets everything right. It’s the one who can find their mistakes and fix them … so when a student made a mistake, they often asked if they could show the class, because everyone could learn from it. They would then repeat their mistake in front of the class and ask, “Can you see my mistake?” or “Can you see what I did?”
Often, even before they had asked the question, hands were in the air, begging to be chosen to explain what mistake had been made. The original child chose someone with their hand up, and then that child needed to be able to explain what the mistake was and how this could be fixed. The original child either agreed or not, and if not, acknowledged the effort that had been made, and chose someone else.
Afterwards, the original child asked the class if there was another way that they could have approached the question. Hands would shoot up in the air. This discussion was magic! It ‘allowed’ the multiple ways that it could have been solved to be discussed, and all were accepted. Yes, some were more efficient than others and this became part of the conversation, but the best part was that it was being led by the kids, not me.
The child who had made the mistake was high-fived by their peers on the way back to their desk. It was actually very inspiring!
I don’t suggest that this type of ‘show and tell’ is necessary at home, but you get the idea.
Mistakes show that you’ve tried something - sure, it wasn’t successful, but an attempt was made… and that is worth celebrating.
And this becomes the perfect opportunity to ask a question, instead of jumping in to fix it …
And my takeaway tip:
Try asking at least two questions before offering help. It helps build independence and resilience … and when you do need to step in, MathsBites is right by your side, so that you can offer help, not add to their confusion.
